i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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