The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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