I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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