I didn't shave. On purpose
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
this just has baby written all over it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
