It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
