Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you traded sex for a burrito?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
