he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
