Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
