Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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