Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
