Screwed.edu
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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