TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
