i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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