your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
