I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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