I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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