I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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