I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
