I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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