where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
