Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
