no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we have officially lost it.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
