My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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