i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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