girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
