What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His hands were made for my vagina.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
