marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
