Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
