I hate all girls vehemently.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
