well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
