the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
