I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
