the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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