ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
