we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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