ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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