i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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