Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
worst night to have a conscience
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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