sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
