Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
