Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
