Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
