She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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