I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
