theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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