Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
