Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize