But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
