That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
