so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize