we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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