I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
