He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
