we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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