shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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