hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
