Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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