found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
