i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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