You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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