I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
