I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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