I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
