But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
